A Battle Forever

It’s long done over with

Gone away in the past

But it feels like a fresh wound

A bullet grazes my heart

Tremors through my body

Shoots the mental pain

I sink in the ground

Broken, shaken and in vain

I console myself, such a pity

I try to grasp the reality

Tough it is as it can be

Trying to separate him from me            

Triumph backs away in a corner

Confidence distances itself away from me

Never was I so seeped out, it’s a black hole

Burning with rage and desire to bury me

Why is it so tough to go on?

Why is it difficult to forget?

Putting on a face I don’t know anything of

Is unfortunate and a pathetic shame

I look myself in the eye

Questioning my identity

I see a stranger smile at me

Patronizing what can never be

As the skies pour down

And the lightning brightens up the dark

A tear rolls off my cheek

My reason lost in a mindless thought

Perfect as one can be for me

Now he’s just a lost treasure

Concealed deep down under the sea

The key for which has been snatched away

And I’d be looking for it till eternity

Career Path

Dear Blog,


I'm unable to imagine how people can plan out their lives. 'Cause I haven't been able to figure that one out. My mom had decided in college she wanted to go in Banking. And hell, my kid bro has decided what he's gonna do! What am I gonna do? Be a writer, or a project manager, or an interior designer or run an animal spa or what!? Life was so much easy earlier. A few select streams to choose from and get settled in already! Wow! Though much less adventurous, at least you knew what was gonna become of you 20 years down the line. And that is what matters the most!


No one can help you out. I mean of course you can seek guidance, but the ultimate decision? God! So difficult! It's truly like being a kid in a candy shop. Do I take a Mars bar, or a Snickers, or Jell-O or Toblerone? Oh, I want it all. But then selecting candy? Just buy some of everything! Career? Well, I don't wanna be Jack of all trades and Master of none! That plain sucks!


So, after I quit my job, I was confused, so I decided to stay home until I figured out my next step. One of my dad's friends owns an advertising agency. He asked me to meet him with my dad, to discuss things. And today, during that brief time we chatted, he put the industry in as simple letters as A, B, C, ... and Z. He asked me what my passion was. And as pathetic as it sounds, I had no answer. So when I got home, I made a list of all the possible things I could do for a career. And oh so much candy!


I don't wanna work under someone. I don't wanna take orders from a boss. I wanna be my own boss. I wanna plan when I take a vacation, when I see friends, when I do not work, when I wake up in the morning, etc. I wanna control my life and live on my own terms. I know, everyone does but few get there. And I wanna be among those few people. And I will be. One day.


Now I'll return to my list of careers and try to figure out what and where I'm gonna be 20 years from now on! Or I'll just catch an episode of Friends or watch some movie! Bye blog!


Love,
N